This year got off to THE shittiest start ever. I won’t go into details but it has made me realise i need to take every opportunity and not to give up. This year i will attempt Lent. I am also currently doing #100daysofhappy on twitter. January 2014 was shit but the rest of the year will be good, i will make damn sure of that.
Things to give up:
Things to do:
genuinely compliment someone every day
make drastic life improvements job wise/moving
spend more time with Henry before it’s too late.
Things to achieve:
I need film suggestions because nothing makes me cry… so far i have tried such films as My Sisters Keeper, Sophies Choice, War Horse, PS I Love You, The Notebook etc and nothing…
I really don’t use social media as much as I should/as much as others. I rarely tweet/status or even use this any more; but knowing I had those ways to express how i feel when im happy/sad/having a good/bad day comforted me somewhat. Now i’ve accumulated unwanted followers on twitter; i know you will think why not block them? well its complicated when you have to work with them. It makes life awkward “why did you delete me from Facebook/Twitter?” Nonetheless now im stuck wondering, on a particularly shit day, where can i express my thoughts/emotions without people hounding me, questioning me? This new follower actually causes crap for me at work AND had already been through my most recent tweets  and ‘favourited’ a few tweets. I have to think fast; there’s a few recent ones about work, no names just the usual ranting ones and shes such a gossip im stuck.
Soon people will find me on here too but i really don’t want Tumblr or Twitter exclusively private because i have met so many wonderful people [and some not so wonderful] through these outlets. My Facebook is on lock-down and will always remain that way but Twitter was always open, i was careful and cryptic to the public but some of these people hang on to your every last word.
I feel like i’m about to burst with excitement. My friend finally gave birth on Saturday to the most adorable baby boy ever! Right now i detest distance i wish she lived closer i wanna see him so bad. Mum and Baby doing well :) In some respects i can’t believe it was July i got sent the scan photo and now he’s here it’s gone so fast. At the same time it’s like she’s been pregnant forever! Either way Sebastian and Ashleigh have a nice little perfect family going on with the new addition of Bradley. <3
full name: Bradley Caine Stubberfield Betteridge. Practically Perfect in Every Way!
In 7 days my [virtual] grandson will be born! well that’s his due date anyway. This means i have 7 days to convince my [virtual] daughter to call him Cuthbert or Pubert- i’m flexible on either one.
In any event i hope her birth goes swimmingly and he arrives safely.
*the virtual reference explained… My friend Ashleigh is pregnant and one facebook i’m listed as her mother for a joke so thus making baby my grandson.
I feel like no matter where i turn to someone is always watching and armed to say something back/shit stir or whatever else. Why shouldn’t people post photos of snow? talk about it or whatever the subject may be? why shouldn’t i speak my mind rather than hold everything in? Everyone else says shit regardless of whether it hurts the other person or not. There are too many ungrateful beans out there and not enough good seeds. Never have i found the “unfollow” or “unfriend” button so satisfying.
I’m currently watching Halloween (1978) and discussing with my friend our favourite slasher villain. We’d like to know what other people think. So who is your favourite?
Freddy Krueger? (Nightmare on Elm Street)
Jason Voorhees? (Friday 13th)
Michael Myers? (Halloween)
I dislike the notion of New Years Resolutions because of how quickly people fail at them. For 2005 I did complete one: To Laugh Everyday for a Year- Turned out to be a rather hard year but it was completed; it was doable. This year instead of any resolutions I am going to set myself an easy task of watching TWO new films a week: I know this sounds easy but i do work a lot so hopefully it will be something i can complete and have fun with rather than the typical: Drink less, Smoke less, Lose Weight sagas that people do for all of 2 days.
Two years ago I was looking at flights for my first lengthy instalment living in USA. Where has the time gone? I’m not one for self reflection, but this time I feel it is necessary to mark the occasion and realise how far I’ve come.
Two years ago the only thing keeping me going was a high dosage of Prozac a day and yet I signed up to study abroad despite not being able to cope in my own home. Needless to say it was a rather risky thing to do but I survived. Two years later I’m 100% depression free, not had a single Prozac for 15 months and generally life is going reasonably well.
2011 marked the start of the end of the crap period in my life. Although studying abroad in Pennsylvania helped me over come my depression I feel it is mostly 2012 that has pushed through the last few bits. I spent my summer working in New York (I hope to return soon enough) and graduated from University- something that two years ago seemed impossible.
So here goes. December 2010 I was nervously booking a one way flight to JFK and trying to convince myself I was doing the right thing. Money aside this was a giant leap for me to accomplish. I surprised myself somewhat in the January of 2011 when I landed in New York and my first leg of my journey out of depression was complete. Over the next few months I continued to grow and learn as a student and a person. I overcame obstacles and problems yet encountered many more. At the time I thought it was amazing to be at my college, little did I know my summer working in New York was going to exceed expectations. My time at Juniata College was amazing, I met some fabulous people- most of whom I’m still friends with today and met up with during the summer but it was the start of the end. I kinda wish I had that chance again to go back and make it even more fantastic than it was at the time. Don’t get me wrong I loved my time there but i wasn’t confident, 100% happy and worry free like I mostly am today. I believe because of that college that I did overcome my depression. Nothing in particular cured it but the environment and the people around me helped that without even realising. I guess as the saying goes: Everything happens for a reason.
June 2011 I landed back into England after spending an awful week in Las Vegas. The person I went with turned out not to be the person I thought they were, less said about that the better. I have since returned to Las Vegas and rekindled my love for the city. Thank God. September came around faster than expected and oh look I’m in my 3rd year of university in Lincoln doing my dissertation! I NEVER thought I’d make it this far. When you wake up every day wishing you were dead you never imagine you could overcome any hurdle in life. This is why, now, I will help ANYONE if they need it. I get a lot of emails, texts, phone calls etc with people needing to talk and I really don’t mine because I’d never want anyone to feel as crap as I did during the 3 and half years of my depression. I will always do my best to help, advise, listen whatever they need I try to accommodate. Sure I’ve had ungrateful people throw things back in my face: for example, someone puts something on twitter about life being crap and they had been all negative and I respond kindly and tell them to look on the positive side and whatnot and I got a whole load of abuse thrown at me for being nice. Go figure. Never mind. I’m just grateful I’m now in a position to help rather than being the victim plus I can speak from experience rather than speculation.
2011 ends and 2012 begins and so does the job hunt. Overall I applied for 68 jobs in America but I ended up in New York. My dream location. Admittedly I got a lot of crap from friends about landing that job- I can only assume to a point it was jealousy but hey ho why should I let their boring lives affect mine? The summer had it’s ups and downs but overall I’d say 80% of it was simply amazing the other 20% well that’s just life- nothing is perfect. Before I left I made a bucket list- for life not just summer- and in actual fact over this summer I managed to accomplish quite a few tasks without realising. To summarise this summer I visited the original Amityville Horror House, American Museum of Natural History, I went and saw Lisa in New Jersey and left the day before she gave birth to Eli. I spent many days running around Manhattan, taking a boat ride in the lake of Central Park, shopping at DASH, Macy’s, Bloomingdales and many more. I saw Mary Poppins on Broadway when my parents visited for my birthday, had a ride home in a police car, made many friends and at the end of the summer I went camping in Monument Valley with Cowboys and Navajo Indians ending up in the one and only Las Vegas- this time staying at Planet Hollywood.
I’ve gone from not wanting to leave the house alone to flying over 5000 miles alone [I’m terrified of flying] I’d call that a success wouldn’t you? I actually flew into Las Vegas early to meet a friend from England for Lunch I must admit that was pretty amazing to be able to do.
I would urge anyone to take risks and push yourself through any hard times you may endure because the end product is simply amazing. In an ideal world I’d be back living in New York, something i hope to achieve shortly.